If I had to be blunt I would say I had no real childhood, I saw and went through five lives in just a couple years... too much responsibility and no appreciation... I've forced myself to parent myself and learn through philosophy and education and now astrology, what I wasn't taught by family... its very tough to do it on your own.
My relationships fluctuate... there is always someone around and I always connect deeply, but I like a challenge so I go after what I can't have... or what seems impossible. I guess we all want our own love story. The hardest part has been understanding my need for deep closeness (all the water in my chart) and great freedom (Gemini/Aqua)-- i confuse others and confuse myself!!! LOL Now I just make sure to use the need for closeness when its appropriate while making sure I have an outlet to freedom like my friends, my writing, making sure I leave time to myself and have my own life while giving my partner the same without freaking out. =) Being an adult is tough, but you also reap the benefits of that hard work in healthier relationships.
My old manager has a wife and son but was killed by strangulation by his lover (im still not convinced it was the lover) a lover who is transexual... he was staying over night with his lover when this same person woke up to find him strangled (odd story) and naked on the floor... the autopsy says there were no signs of struggle and the lover has not revealed a motive... This was a huuuge shock to everyone (family, coworkers, friends) who knew him for years, some as much ast 8, 10 and 12 years! He was a US Marine with a strong character who made his fair share of gay jokes, too... This manager was a libra/scorpio cusp... happened right before venus in scorp went retro... I guess the link between his story/issues and my own family/childhood would be the secrets and shame. Unfortunately, I went through some things as a kid (victim of anothers whim) that forced me to feel shame and want to hide myself... funny thing is that all along I saw shame in my managers eyes... I know shame... I never could confirm it until now, but I swear, he carried shame and now I know why. Homosexuality is nothing to be ashamed of, but he obviously didn't like that part of himself as he tried to hide it and lead a double life b.c of it... this entire story is very scorpio venus to me with the secrets, cross-gender, sex, etc. very interesting in an eerie way.
when you said you chose this life, what did you mean? Also, I see you're an Aqua sun, whats your moon and rising? =)